July 2011 Newsletter/Young Fathers Surrey Bc

David Morgan/Youth Unlimited July 2011

STEPPING UP

Dave’s Update

The Surrey Foundation

This past month I was given the opportunity to speak at the Surrey Foundation. At the event I gave a quick snapshot of Stepping Up, what we do, and what we are committed to doing in the lives of these young fathers. The Surrey Foundation gave us a wonderful donation towards the dads outreach. The interest in Stepping Up

throughout the community is overwhelming. Every time I share what we are doing in the lives of these young fathers, people are captivated by it and catch our vision! During this event I met a local philanthropist who was affected by the lack of a father figure in his own life. He felt passionate about helping Stepping Up gain vital traction in the community of Surrey as a provider of resources and emotional support to these young dads. I’m very excited to see where this partnership will take us.

Walking with the Fathers

I have had a very busy month, spending a lot of one-on-one time meeting with the young dads. Shaina and I have also had these young men and their children to our home for dinners and other events. We have really felt blessed to have these young dads and their children in our home! It seems they are opening up to us more these days; I believe they see real tangible hope in what Stepping Up stands for and what we are committed to doing in their lives and their children’s lives. By gaining the trust of these young fathers I feel that they are expecting certain practical things from us too!

In the last months I have felt a pressing need to implement and demonstrate practical solutions for these young men. Our words of comfort and support are not enough. Going for an occasional coffee and having a fun night out with them is not going to adequately support them and their unique needs as young fathers. They are in need of – and wanting – tangible, practical help so their young families can survive, and are looking to Stepping Up to create solutions for them. The social outreaches in Surrey are inundated with hundreds of cases and these young dads’ practical needs are last on the list in most cases. The young dad issue is rampant in our communities because little-to-nothing is being done; their needs are slipping through the

cracks! We at Stepping Up have a great opportunity to provide these practical needs with viable options like work, mentoring and school initiatives. If these practical needs are met they will be more open to finding a relationship with God that will ultimately bring true healing in their lives.

One thought has been relentlessly going over and over in my mind. The thought is this: “Dave it’s one thing to talk about hope for the fatherless, but what practical things are you going to do to bring hope?” These words have haunted me for a few months now and are giving me the motivation and focus I need to make these initiatives a real possibility in the lives of these young men. My heart breaks for these young men and each of their struggles! I pray, weep and call out to God everyday asking him to meet these young dads’ practical needs! I want Stepping Up to be used by God in a way that can provide these practical needs. The young dads have such great courage; pressing on and moving forward in life despite all their obstacles. They are true heroes to me!

Over.The Struggles of the Young Father

A lot of young fathers have generational cycles to break in their lives and in the lives of their young children. The problem is acute when young boys lack a male mentor with a healthy male identity. Renowned psychologist Dr. James Dobson states that, “At about three to five years of age, a lad gradually pulls away from his mom and sisters in an effort to formulate a

masculine identity. This is a process known as "disconnection and differentiation," where the inner urge of the male plan of development nudges him out of the nest of the mother over a precarious bridge to the world of the father. With the absence of a father, boys are forced to formulate their sense of male identity from their surroundings. Many turn to the many famous figures within the worlds of entertainment and sports as sources of inspiration while others turn to gangs and a world of violence. Either way, these young boys suffer.” It’s so important that we support these young fathers and help them to understand what it means to be a young man and what their role is as a father. Please continue to pray for all the young fathers I work with helping each one of them break the dysfunctional cycles that so greatly entangle them! These young fathers should not struggle alone!

How $35.00 a Month Can Change Lives We are asking for another $600.00 a month to come in so we can securely be on at YFC working four days a

week. To break it down we would need 6 people giving $100.00 a month or 12 people giving $50.00 a month. But if each of you reading this newsletter would give us as little as $35.00 a month, Shaina and I would not

only be on four days a week; we would be on full time at YFC! If you can’t give $35.00 dollars a month, would you consider giving $25.00 a month, or even $20.00 a month! Whatever you can give helps greatly and gets us closer to being on full-time. Please continue to pray for this ministry and us. Please consider being a monthly financial partner as well! Stepping Up “young fathers” is committed to changing lives. So be a part of change; partner with us as together we reach out to young fathers! Thank you to all of you giving so generously to this ministry! Shaina and I feel so encouraged by your support. We could not do what we do, day in and day out, without your partnership. Thank You!

Vindicate the weak and fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and destitute.

Psalm 82:3

P.S.

Dave and Shaina’s Update

Shaina and I went to the lake this month; it was nice to spend holidays with our family! Shaina’s relatives from Scotland were here for just under a month; it’s always nice to hear a good Scottish accent! Liam and Joah are growing like weeds and are both such a joy! Shaina is opening up a daycare in our home and we are going through the licensing process – what a JOB; there’s a lot to learn! It’s going to be great to have all the hard work behind us though. Shaina is very excited to be working once again; she can’t wait to get the daycare all set up. And I’m just happy helping her! Until next month!

PARTNERING WITH US FOR ONLY $35.00 A MONTH WILL CHANGE LIVES!

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

Shocking "Young Father" Stats!!!!!!

Children with involved Fathers are more confident, better able to deal with frustration, better able to gain independence and their own identity, more likely to mature into compassionate adults, more likely to have a high self esteem, more sociable, more secure as infants, less likely to show signs of depression, less likely to commit suicide, more empathetic, boys have been shown to be less aggressive and adolescent girls are less likely to engage in sex.

63% of teen suicides come from fatherless homes. That’s 5 times the national average.

SOURCE: U.S. Dept of Health

90% of all runaways and homeless children are from fatherless homes. That’s 32 times the national average.

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes. 14 times the national average.

SOURCE: Justice and Behavior

85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes. 20 times the national average.

SOURCE: Center for Disease Control

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. 9 times the national average.

SOURCE: National Principals Association Report

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. 10 times the national average.

SOURCE: Rainbow’s for all God’s Children

85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. 20 times the national average.

SOURCE: U.S. Dept. of Justice

Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.

91% of 701 fathers surveyed by the University of Texas at Austin agreed that there is a “father-absence crisis in America.” What were the 4 major obstacles for fathers to overcome? 1) Work demands 2) The media 3) Pop Culture 4) Finances

Researchers of Columbia University found that children living in two-parent households with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Moreover, teens in single-mother households fared much worse. They had a 30% higher risk than those in all two-parent households.

“Without two parents, working together as a team, the child has more difficulty learning the combination of empathy, reciprocity, fairness and self-command that people ordinarily take for granted. If the child does not learn this at home, society will have to manage his behavior in some other way. He may have to be rehabilitated, incarcerated, or otherwise restrained. In this case, prisons will substitute for parents.”

SOURCE: Morse, Jennifer Roback. “Parents or Prisons.” Policy Review, 2003

Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.

SOURCE: National Household Education Survey

Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.

Even in high crime neighborhoods, 90% of children from stable 2 parent homes where the Father is involved do not become delinquents.

SOURCE: Development and Psychopathology 1993

Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.

SOURCE: Journal of Marriage and Family, 1994

A young Father all alone!

I met with a young father this past week.  He is feeling all alone, he is an expectant father in 20 weeks and is 19yrs old.  Like most of the fathers I work with he has had difficult growing up years!  His relationship with his father is strained and relationship with his mom is damaged.  This young man saw our outreach online and got in touch with us.  He mentioned to me that he thought there was no programs out there for young teen fathers and was very happy to know we are in the community.

As he shared his story with me I felt so happy that we were able to help him in his time of need.  I felt that all the sacrifices my wife and children have made to start this initiative for teen fathers in the community, is well worth it!  If the sacrifice was for one young father it would be well worth it!  I'm so thrilled we can help this young dad in his situation before for it gets worse!   Help him before his baby is born is so crucial.  Desperation has not set in yet he can feel a little more sorted in life with our help, thus better situation for baby when it is born!  By walking with Stepping Up this young fathers will feel he has the resources he needs to set his life on the right track equipping him to be the best father possible.
Another thing I realized as I talked with this young father was this, he is searching for a father figure in his own life, and was desperate to find one! His desire to be a good and dependable father to his young unborn child was very evident but finding a father figure in his life was just as important, I felt he needed a mentor.

These young fathers need guidance, practical resources and most importantly a father figure.  At stepping up we believe in breaking cycles, helping young fathers stay in their children's lives and "Stopping the cycle of fatherless generations" Is at the top of our list.  Please keep these young fathers and this out reach in your thoughts, as we move forward empowering young fathers in the community.

We need your Help!  Please consider being a monthly Partner! The reality is that finance's move this outreach forward.  We need your financial support!  Please consider partnering with us.  Would you consider being a $300,$200 or even $100 monthly partner? Or if you can not commit monthly perhaps you could give a one time donation, that would help Greatly!  Or would you consider a possible monthly partnership of $75,$50 or $25 dollars?  Any amount helps greatly!  All donations are given a tax free number for your personal year end.

This partnership WITH YOU, would help keep this outreach accessible to young fathers in our community of Surrey.  And hopefully one day in your community. If you feel you can donate financially to this outreach, go to the left side of the blog and click on the Youth Unlimited Icon and then press support Dave Morgan.

Thanks, David Morgan

Stepping Up helping young fathers practically

Well the time has come to share the news!!

Stepping Up young fathers has completed it's five year strategic plan.  And our main focus is to help these young dads practically, how are we going to do this?  Simple, sustainable work initiatives.  We are looking at a business idea that we can sustain these young dads and their families.

Our focus will be on raising funds so we can open a business that can employ young dads in the community of Surrey.  Incorporating a trades program, schooling program and much needed counseling.  but the focus will be on getting these young dads working first.  If we can't reach these young dads practically we won't be able to reach the inner man and heal deep wounds caused by their own pasts and father issues.

After working directly with these young dads over a year now the struggle of these young fathers has been very apparent to me! The depth of the struggles these young men face are huge!  Their safety now and for a better future is in jeopardy!

If we look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs chart I can show you exactly were the majority of these young men are, they are lacking the security for a better future for them and their young families.

  These young men are in the safety category the one in red.  I have really struggled to find away to truly help these young men.  Until one day I realized that these young men lives parallel this chart.  If they are   struggling to find safety in housing,food and employment they will be hard pressed to find any inner healing or open up to a God who can truly change their situation.

So continue to pray about how you may donate time or give financially to what we are doing at Stepping  Up.  You can be apart of changing a young dads life.  It would be great to have you on board in what ever way you see fit.

Blessings,David